SAT写作范文|关于世界变化的SAT范文与解析

　　Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below

　　There is, of course, no legitimate branch of science that enables us to predict the future accurately. Yet the degree of change in the world is so overwhelming and so promising that the future, I believe, is far brighter than anyone has contemplated since the end of the Second World War.

　　Assignment: Is the world changing for the better? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

　　题目翻译：

　　世界上当然没有合理的，使我们能准确预测未来的学科。然而，世界的变化是如此势不可挡而又充满希望，我相信未来会远比二战以来任何人所预料的更加光明。

　　命题：世界是否越变越好？

　　二、6分范文

　　Reactions to World Wars One and Two by the artistic community and historians do not support the idea that the world is changing for the better. One example of the negative effects of World War Two psychologically may be taken from Leslie Marmon Silko's novel Ceremony. The novel's protagonist, Tayo, a young native American veteran living on a reservation, returns from his war experience severely mentally damaged, referring to himself at one point as “white smoke”。 The novel expresses several times that Tayo is only one case of many damaged young native Americans who return from this war. Elders of the Laguna native American tribe express distress at the fact that they will not be able to heal their returning World War Two warriors with traditional war healing ceremonies, and Tayo believes this is because warfare has changed dramatically.

　　The tribe, losing many members to the war physically and psychologically, suffers weakening blows. It is clear that the difference between old warfare in which warriors could face their enemies and new warfare in which soldiers shoot blindly across distances is great. The destruction of modern warfare witnessed by the new veterans was devastating in a ruinous way as it never had been. The resulting threat of the disintegration of the tribe as old healing techniques fail weakens the tribe in ways it had never been weakened before.

　　A similar mental disintegration, tied in with a lack of optimism was seen a great deal following World War One. Before the war, old Enlightenment ideas of rational thought, progress, and the goodness of mankind abounded. The incredible and unprecedented destruction seen in World War one, however, combined with the psychological effect of the use of the newest mass-destruction and chemical weapons proved to quash the pre-war sentiment of optimism and post-Enlightenment zeal. New weapons such as mustard gas and machine guns could kill thousands in unspeakably brutal ways, and the casualties of the war, greater than any in history, showed the weapons to be very effective. The loss of human life in hundreds of thousands, combined with the destruction of European land at the end of World War one proved to crush the morale of the European populace and to discourage optimism with regard to scientific progress; scientific progress had only served to cause destruction and horror in war.

　　The negative psychological repercussions of World War One and Two served to give people, particularly Europeans, a less optimistic view of the world and of mankind. The change in weaponry and style of warfare, visible in the example of Silko's Ceremony, contribute to the idea that the world was not changing for the better; the new warriors of Ceremony could not be healed, and the optimistic, naive vision of pre-world war Europe could not be restored. If man could cause such immense physical and psychological destruction with the products of scientific change, the world could not have changed for the better.

　　范文翻译：

　　艺术界和历史界对两次世界大战的反应不支持世界越变越好的论点。从莱斯利？马蒙？西尔科 <http://www.ewen.cc/qikan/bkview.asp?bkid=152733&cid=470592> （Leslie Marmon Silko）的小说《典礼》（Ceremony）中能找到关于二战带来的不良心理效应的例子。小说的主人公泰约（Tayo）是一名年轻的土著，他退伍后回到印第安居留地生活。因为战争经历造成的严重精神创伤，泰约一度称自己为“白烟”。小说数次提及泰约只是遭受战争创伤的许多年轻土著中的一名。拉古纳土著部落（the Laguna native american tribe）的老人们哀叹他们再也无法用治疗战争创伤的传统典礼治愈他们从二战归来的战士们了。泰约认为，这是因为战争的方式发生了巨大的改变。

　　因为战争带来的身体和精神上的伤害，部落失去了很多成员，力量受到了削弱。在旧式战争中，战士能够面对敌人；而新式战争中，士兵们只是远距离盲目射击。两种战争形式截然不同。新一代的退伍军人亲眼目睹了，现代战争的破坏力是前所未有的，毁灭性的。因此，传统的治疗手法失效了，部落面临着瓦解的威胁，这种威胁以从未有过的方式削弱了部落的力量。

　　同样，由于丧失信心而造成的精神崩溃在一战后也屡见不鲜。战争之前，关于理性，进步和人类美德的启蒙主义思想广泛流传。然而，在一战中所见的不可思议、前所未有的破坏，连同使用新的大规模杀伤武器和化学武器所造成的心理影响击溃了战前的乐观主义和后启蒙主义时代的热情。像芥子毒气和机关枪这样的新式武器能够以极为残忍的方式杀死数千人。此次战争中超出任何历史记录的伤亡人数证明了这些武器的有效性。一战结束时，数十万生命的陨灭和欧洲大地的破坏击垮了欧洲民众的士气，浇灭了人类对科技进步的乐观；科技进步带来的只是战争的破坏和恐怖。

　　两次世界大战所带来的不良心理冲击使人们，特别是欧洲人对世界和人类的态度少了几分乐观。西尔科《典礼》中所展现的武器和战争形态的改变说明了世界并没有越变越好；《典礼》中的新一代战士无法被治愈，而战前那种乐观，天真的世界观也无法被重塑。如果科技成果能够带来如此深重的生理和心理创伤，就不可能说世界比以前变得更好了。

　　三、得分点详解

　　1 effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position

　　围绕论题有效、深刻地发展一个论点，运用贴切的事例、因果分析和其他证据支持论点，从而展示出色的思辨能力。

　　针对命题“世界是否越变越好？”，本文表明立场 “艺术界和历史界对两次世界大战的反应不支持世界越变越好的论点。”（Reactions to World Wars one and two by the artistic community and historians do not support the idea that the world is changing for the better.） 为了支持论点，作者从艺术和历史出发，夹叙夹议，展示了二战和一战给人们造成极大伤害。文章以讨论莱斯利？马蒙？西尔科 <http://www.ewen.cc/qikan/bkview.asp?bkid=152733&cid=470592> （Leslie Marmon Silko）的小说《典礼》（Ceremony）开头。《典礼》的主人公泰约（Tayo）代表了许多从二战归来的受伤的土著印第安退伍军人，这些在新式战争中受伤的人无法被传统的疗伤仪式治愈，从而凸显了新式战争的所带来的前所未有的破坏。接下来，作者描写了一战所带来的同样的心理崩溃和信心丧失。后一段分析总结到，“《典礼》中的新一代战士无法被治愈，而战前那种乐观，天真的世界观也无法被重塑。”（ the new warriors of Ceremony could not be healed, and the optimistic, naive vision of pre-world war Europe could not be restored.）然后深化论点：“如果科技成果能够带来如此深重的生理和心理创伤，就不可能说世界比以前变得更好了。”在叙述事例的时候，作者十分注重抽象概念具体化。“改变”对于二战和一战来说主要是战争形态和武器的改变。二战 “远距离盲目射击”的战争形态和“战士能够面对敌人”的旧式战争形成了鲜明对比（It is clear that the difference between old warfare in which warriors could face their enemies and new warfare in which soldiers shoot blindly across distances is great.）；而一战则出现了以“冲锋枪”（machine guns）和“芥子毒气”（mustard gas）为代表的“大规模杀伤武器和化学武器”（mass-destruction and chemical weapons）。这种改变带来的灾难性后果作者也有具体描述：描述二战带来的精神创伤时泰约称自己为“白烟”的细节（Tayo… returns from his war experience severely mentally damaged, referring to himself at one point as “white smoke”），拉古纳部落老人的哀叹（Elders of the Laguna native american tribe express distress at the fact that they will not be able to heal their returning World War two warriors with traditional war healing ceremonies,），战争给部落带来的瓦解的威胁（The resulting threat of the disintegration of the tribe…weakens the tribe in ways it had never been weakened before.）等等；一战的后果则包括数十万生命的陨落，对欧洲大陆的破坏，士气的低落和对科技信心的丧失（The loss of human life in hundreds of thousands, combined with the destruction of European land at the end of World War one proved to crush the morale of the European populace and to discourage optimism with regard to scientific progress;）等等。

　　整篇文章事例贴切，分析深刻，展现了出色的思辨能力。

　　2 is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas

　　结构合理，中心明确，思路连贯，衔接自然。

　　文章采用总-分-总的结构，首段第一句话提出论点，接下来直到第三段用事例证明论点，末段总结事例并深化论点。两次世界大战的事例一详一略，分别来自文学和历史，叙事角度不同，却都紧扣“科技进步运用于战争带来灾难”的叙事线索，展现了结构的层次感和思维的连贯性。在语言衔接方面，作者尤其善于运用指代连接上下文。如第一段用 “The novel”指代小说 “Ceremony”，用 “this”指代传统疗法无法治愈现代战争创伤的事实（Tayo believes this is because warfare has changed dramatically），第二段开头用 “The tribe”指代第一段提到的 “the Laguna native american tribe”，不仅使语言更加简洁，而且使上下文衔接更加紧密。此外，第二段表示因果的 “The resulting threat”，第三段表示时间的 “Before the war,…in World War one, …quash the pre-war sentiment of optimism” 等衔接词也使文章脉络更为清晰。作者还运用了过渡句“A similar mental disintegration, tied in with a lack of optimism was seen a great deal following World War one.”连接两个事例。全篇文章紧扣论点，不枝不蔓，起承转合十分得体。

　　3 exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary

　　显示运用语言的技巧，词汇丰富、准确、恰当

　　4 demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure

　　运用多种句子结构

　　5 is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics

　　在语法、用法和技巧上错误很少

　　本文作者词汇丰富，且用词很有感染力和冲击力。为了表示战争带来的不良后果，作者用了 “damaged”， “destruction”， “disintegration” , “weaken”等不同词汇。此外，第二段的 “The destruction… was devastating in a ruinous way”， 第三段的 “The incredible and unprecedented destruction” 和“kill thousands in unspeakably brutal ways”几句的用词饱含情绪，强调了破坏程度之剧。第三段的另外两句 “quash the pre-war sentiment of optimism” 和“crush the morale”中 “quash”和“crush”极富动感和力度，让人眼前一亮。作者对各种句式的运用也很熟练，尤其突出的是长而不乱的句子。如第一段的 “The novel's protagonist, Tayo, a young native american veteran living on a reservation, returns from his war experience severely mentally damaged, referring to himself at one point as 'white smoke‘。”运用了同位语，现在分词作后置定语和现在分词作状语等结构。而后一段的“The change in weaponry and style of warfare, visible in the example of Silko's Ceremony, contribute to the idea that the world was not changing for the better; the new warriors of Ceremony could not be healed, and the optimistic, naive vision of pre-world war two Europe could not be restored”则运用了插入语，宾语从句和对仗结构。虽然有大小写错误-- “native American”应为 “Native American”，仍不失为一篇语言出色的好文。